What a year! 6 days until we celebrate!

6 days from now Logan is going to be 1!! Where does the time go? It seemed like just yesterday we finally got to come home from the NICU after 10 weeks of waiting and waiting. We were trained on how to take care of him and what to do in case of blue spells (which we had a whole lot of), and sent on our way. Doctors basically told us, go home and enjoy your time with him. Neurology made the comment when he was 4 months old that they were still surprised he was still alive. How is it that doctors can say these kinds of things? They have no idea what kind of life he was going to live other than basing it on the literature they read. I am ashamed that I felt this way when Logan was born, but I think my feelings were perfectly normal. I was mad at the world. I wanted to know why God was punishing us for giving us this sick child. I was hurt and I was scared to love him. But as time went on, I learned that I wasn't scared to love him, I was just scared to lose him. I was scared to feel that empty, alone feeling. I know any parent could feel panic when the thought crosses their mind of losing their child. It's a sickening feeling, and I had it all the time.  There were times that we almost lost our precious baby. But I turned to God, and I prayed and prayed. He answered my prayers every time, and I knew then not to question the things he does. It all happens for a reason.
 
Logan is a miracle. He was born in to this world with a purpose, as any person is, but his purpose was met from the day he was born. He taught me that life isn't about the materialistic things, cherish each moment, tell everyone you know that you love them, pray unconditionally, don't worry about what others think, and always keep a positive attitude. He didn't only touch my life or Brian's life, he changed everyone who met him. His beautiful smile, big brown eyes, and sweet personality make you fall in love with him all over again. For a child that has gone through so much in this first year of life, he always smiles and doesn't have a care in the world.  He is my first born, and even though things didn't go like we thought they would, he is our perfect little boy. We didn't get to experience Logan coming down from the nursery, changing his first diaper, or his first bath. Those things really bothered me at first, but then I realized we had bigger problems. Being told that your child may not ever sit up, crawl, walk, talk, or even eat by mouth devastated me. Where were never going to be able to experience those exciting times every parent dreams of. But, as time has gone on, and he has gotten stronger, those things don't matter. Because I know that Logan will accomplish his own goals on his own time, and there is no time limit for that.

 All those tubes and wires don't mean a thing. It's a part of Logan and it's apart of his and our life. They don't make who he is. One thing that has amazed us with our community is they see past those tubes and wires, and see Logan for the amazing little person that he is.
I was asked not to long ago, "What gets you through the day, and how do you deal with it?"
My answer was as simple as this:  "Spend 5 minutes with Logan and you will see."
I don't think I could have said it any better.

The past year has had many ups and downs, but to see Logan and how well he is doing now, makes everything worth it. He's growing and getting stronger everyday, and he's so incredibly smart, we are just nothing but blessed.

Thank you to everyone that has followed our journey and supported us along the way. We couldn't do it without all of the love, prayers and support.

God bless :)