Stepping out of MY shell

I am in no way ashamed of Logan. He makes me so proud. BUT I hate the looks we get out in public. I hate how people stare at my precious boy for all of his equipment and entourage of people. What annoys me most are the stares and head turns we get when the suction is turned on. This is something he has to have to survive.  Most of it is just curiosity, I know, but as a mommy it's hard to see Logan get these stares. I want him to be seen like anyone else, normal. Because his life is normal to us.

  I am a total germ-a-fob when it comes to Logan. I know that I cannot always protect him from every little germ, but I do Lysol and clean the house quite a bit. Anyway, after leaving Logan's doctor appointment yesterday, something hit me. We have NEVER taken Logan out to eat with us. Never. I use to cry when Logan came home from the NICU and we couldn't take him with us somewhere. I guess I have gotten use to being a hermit and keeping Logan and myself indoors a lot. But I have to say I have come out of my shell some. He has been camping, to the beach, and a few other things. But this fall Logan will attend Gateway and I can't hide all those germs from him. I have to let him get sick, and be exposed. I never want to see my baby sick, but I also can't keep him sheltered either. I want Logan to experience life and see places and things, and that started yesterday. Logan, myself, Logan's grammy, Nurse Rene, and Nurse Angeline went out to lunch. It felt great to have him out with me, and not wonder what he was doing at home. Logan threw his toys on the floor, did a little dance in his chair, and played patty cake for us. The perfect lunch.  For once I didn't care about the stares and head turns when the suction was cut on.  We had a great lunch and Logan really enjoyed the new environment. So from now on, I'm not going to shelter Logan. I want him to live his life to the fullest in whatever he is doing.

Today we lost a great nurse. Rene has been with Logan since the week he came home from the hospital. When Logan came home he was so weak and couldn't even come off the vent for a few minutes. Now Logan is really trying to sit up unassisted and is off the vent 8-10 hours a day. She was incredible with him. We are really going to miss Rene, but we know she will be back one day.

Yesterday Logan had his appointment with his GI doctor. He was a little concerned with Logan spitting up what looked like coffee grounds. He said it was definitely blood, and it's probably irritation from the severe acid reflux. So, the plan is for Logan to be started on a new med which will hopefully prevent him from throwing up and get his gut working better, in conjunction with his reflux meds. Logan will also start taking miralax everyday to help with the constipation. We go back in a month and will probably schedule a upper GI to see what's going on, and if things don't improve, then Logan will probably have to have surgery to have a Nissen done. Hopefully the meds work and we don't have to put him through yet another surgery.

Friday we take Logan to Gateway for his intake and to find out when school will start. I'm very excited for him, but nervous at the same time. I hope his little body can tolerate it.

Until next time...God bless!

 at lunch :)